Avatar: The Next to Last Airbender
by zukosfire5
Summary: What happens when Sokka and Aang meet Aang's long lost sister, who's the second Avatar? Or when Zuko and Katara finally get a date? Complete chaos, that's what! WARNING: MAJOR OOCNESS AND MARYSUE BASHING.
1. Lili

Aang woke up in the middle of a forest. They had been traveling for many days now, and he hoped there would be a village or town nearby. Suddenly, he saw smoke.

"Katara! Sokka! Smoke! A village is nearby!" he yelled excitedly.

Suddenly, there was a rustling. A squad of Fire Nation soldiers stepped out, led by none other then Prince Zuko himself.

"Aaahhh! Prince Zuko!" Aang yelled. He airbended a still-sleeping Sokka up onto Appa, but before he could do the same to Katara, He noticed that she was gone, and so was Zuko.

"Huh? Wuz going on?" Sokka mumbled sleepily.

"Zuko took Katara!"

"Did he fight you at all?"

"No."

"Then I know what's going on. We are in a bad Zutara fan fiction. The writer is going to make them act OOC, and eventually, cause them to be married." Sokka said.

"In English please?" Aang said

Sokka sighed. "People who have nothing else to do, sit around at computers, and type out made up stories about shows, movies, books, etc. A lot of people like to make Katara and Zuko fall in love. To make that work they make them act OOC, or out-of-character. That basically means that Zuko will be all nice and everything, and will probably be accepted back into the Fire Nation without capturing you. Writers also add OCs, or Original Characters. These are people not normally seen. Sometimes, they are very bad, and are called Mary-Sues. Mary Sues often fall in love with a main character, and have some type of weird bending power. Lot's of times, they are a second Avatar. Rarely, they are very good, and the writer is applauded."

Aang was unsure of what to do with this information.

"Let's just head to that village I saw earlier." Aang said.

xXx

At the village, they were accepted with open arms. Aang was led to a small tent in the center. Inside, he found something surprising. A young girl, about his age, meditated in the center of the tent. The smell from the many incense candles was overpowering, and Aang gagged silently. The girl was dressed in pastel-y colors, and had long white-blond hair. She looked up, and met Aang's gray eyes with gray eyes of her own.

"Aang!" she screeched.

"W-who are you?" Aang asked nervously.

" I'm your long lost sister! I am also the second Avatar!" she screeched again.

"What's your name?" Aang cautiously asked.

"Avatar RinRenInsertHardToPronounceChineseNameHere, but I go by Lili."

Sokka ducked under the tent flap.

"SOKKA!11I LOVE YOU!11I WANT TO MARRY YOU!eleven" Lili screeched so loud she nearly broke the sound barrier.

_Mary Sues often fall in love with a main character, and have some type of weird bending power. Lot's of times, they are a second Avatar._

_Oh great._ Aang thought. _A Mary Sue._

xXx

**This is my first attempt at a Mary-Sue bashing/parody/major OOCness, so bear with me. I promise there will be some Zuko/Katara stuff next chapter. And Iroh will have his Mary-Sue too!**

**-zukosfire5**


	2. Zutara Attack!

"Let me go!" Katara yelled.

"No way! I am going to take you back to my ship. I don't care about the Avatar! I care about you, and you only!" Zuko responded.

Katara was shocked!

They reached the ship, and Zuko took her to her room. It was very nice and comfortable, nothing like a prison cell would be. Zuko dropped Katara on the bed.

"You are free to do whatever you want on the ship. You will have nice meals with me, and whatever you ask for, you will get." Zuko said. He then walked out.

_What is going on?_ she thought.

**I can tell you.**

"Who said that?" she asked nervously.

**It's me, zukosfire5. I write this story.**

"Then why did you pair me up with him?" Katara demanded

**Because I felt like it. And I can make you fall in love with him too.**

"Y-you wouldn't really do that, would you?" she said with a pale face.

**I can, I am, and I will. I think you and Zuko are perfect for each other. So here it comes. You are about to fall in love with Zuko.**

"NO!" Katara yelled. But it was too late.

_ZZZAPKAPOOW!_

"Oh Zuko, you are the only one for me!" Katara gushed. "Even though I was totally against liking him only five minutes ago, I HAVE NOW SEEN THE LIGHT!"

"What did you say sweetie?" Zuko said as he came in and began to kiss her. He pushed her onto the bed and…

WE INTERRUPT YOUR NORMALLY SCHEDULED FANFICTION TO SAY THAT THE FOLLOWING IS BEING CENSORED, BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T AGREE WITH THE RATING, AND ZUKOSFIRE5 IS TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

"Ohhh…Zuko…Katara moaned.

WE INTERRUPT AGAIN BECAUSE WE ENDED THE EARLIER INTERRUPTION TOO EARLY. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE INCONVIENCE. THANK YOU AGAIN, AND HAVE A NICE DAY. AGAIN.

"Prince Zuko! Prince Zuko!" Iroh called the next day.

"Yes Uncle?"

"Urgent news from your daddy!"

"GIVE ME THAT!" Zuko yelled, grabbing the letter out of Iroh's hand.

_Dear Zuko,_

_I have decided you are to be let back into the Fire Nation, and you will no longer be banished. I am only doing this because some wacko named zukosfire5 threatened to kidnap Zhao, and he is my best Admiral. So welcome back son! I really do forgive you! And if you see zukosfire5, tell her I said that! Please!_

_Fire Lord Ozai, aka Daddy._

"YES! HOME AT LAST!" Zuko began to break-dance, he was so happy.

xXx

**Just so I can clear something up, I am a diehard Zutara fan. I love Zutara, and I am just poking fun at my obsession. And Iroh's Mary Sue will be in the next chapter, I promise!**

**-zukosfire5**


	3. Iroh's Mary Sue, and Ozai's Breakdown

"We're here!"

Zuko was on the deck with Katara, and they both saw the city of Edo, the capital of the Fire Nation.

"It looks kinda dirty." Katara said. "Look at all the smoke hovering above it."

"Yeah, so?" Zuko responded. He was still too entranced with the sight of a country he had not seen in two years. Katara could see there was no point in talking to him about it. They soon docked, and Zuko walked down the ramp with Katara by his side. Iroh was in front of them. Suddenly a woman ran up to Iroh.

"IROH!1. MY LOVE! YOU'RE BACK!" Iroh was smothered by the woman's hugged.

"Um, sorry, but do I know you?" Iroh asked.

"What? You don't remember me? I'm Lady KakaSakaNakaBaka, but everyone calls me Lady KSNB, remember?"

Iroh could dimly remember a woman who was always trying to get a date with him before he left with Zuko. He remembered she was really annoying.

"Uh…yeah. Sure." he said uncertainly.

"Great! Meet me in the garden at sundown! Byebye!" she called as she ran off, and then crashed into a tree.

Iroh turned around and saw Zuko looking at him with an amused expression.

"Who was that?" he asked, snickering.

"Um…well, some hyperactive insane woman, who wants to go on a date with me?"

"Whatever. It's your love life." Zuko said laughing as he and Katara walked toward the palace.

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!"

As they walked into the throne room, they could see something was wrong with the Fire Lord.

"Father?" Zuko asked.

"HE'S DEAD!" Ozai yelled, startling everybody in the room.

"Who dead?" Iroh asked carefully.

"Zhao." Ozai said tearfully. "He's gone…gone…gone…AND ZUKOSFIRE5 KILLED HIM!"

**Don't look at me. _I_ didn't do it.**

"Well then who did!"

**Michael DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko from Nickelodeon. They created this show, and they can control you guys much more then I can. I guess they decided that Zhao was an idiot, and needed to kick the bucket.**

"Why? He was a nice man!" Ozai protested.

**Just do everyone a favor, and shut up!**

"Fine!" Ozai responded, then lapsed into silence.

"Welcome home, Prince Zuko." Iroh said cheerlessly.

xXx

**Well, hoped you liked it! Thanx for the reviews, I love to hear about how funny you think this is, and how the sensor in the last chapter saved you from annoying stepbrothers! (you know who you are!) More Aang, Sokka, and Lili in the next chapter, I promise!**

**-zukosfire5**


	4. Love Bending

"Uh…who are you again?" Sokka said, indicating to the weird person now wrapped tightly around his chest. "And could you please stop hugging me. You're gonna break a rib."

The person let go of Sokka, and said, "I'm Avatar RinRenInsertHardToPronounceChineseNameHere, but I go by Lili, and I love you!1"

"Say what!" Sokka said.

Lili let out a loud impatient sigh. "Well, silly, I was born a hundred years ago too! I lived in a village near a radioactive plant, and it helped me to develop cool bending powers. I could bend metal, and blood, which is kinda icky so I don't do that much. I could also bend love, and words, along with water, earth, fire, and air! I'm like a super Avatar!"

"What's love bending and word bending?" Aang asked, scared to hear the answer.

"Love bending is when I can like, make people like love someone, and word bending is when I control what they say! Which means I can make anyone love me too!"

"Uh oh." Sokka said, trying to make his way out of the tent.

"NO!DON'T LEAVE SOKKA!1 I NEED TO LOVE BEND YOU! Lili wailed

"Run Sokka, run!" Aang yelled. Sokka didn't have to be told twice. He bolted, and ran for his life. Or, more accurately, his dignity.

xXx

**sorry this was so short, but I'm still reeling from the holidays. I'll try to update sometime before New Years, but no promises. Hope you like it!**

**-zukosfire5**


	5. MarySue Hunter

"SOKKA! COME BACK!1"

Sokka heard the shriek of the Sue fade away. Cautiously, he peered out from his hiding spot. He froze as he heard footsteps.

"No!" he whispered to himself. There was no way he was going to go within ten feet of _her_.

"Psst! Sokka! It's me, Aang!"

Sokka recognized his friend's voice, and emerged from his hole. "Is _she_ gone?" Sokka asked.

"She ran off thataway." Aang said, pointing to the village. "She probably went to recruit some villagers to help find you. She's _infatuated_ with you, and the villagers think she's awesome."

Suddenly, Lili jumped out in front of them. "SOKKA!1"

"Ah! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sokka wailed, preparing to run. But before he could, a figure jumped down from the trees, and proceeded to beat up Lili.

"Whoa…." Sokka said, impressed.

When Lili was in a comatose state, the girl looked up at them. She had a green shirt, brown leather skirt, and brown boots. Her light brown hair was tied in a ponytail that reached to the small of her back. She had a sword strapped to her side. But, and this was the startling part, her eyes were _purple_. Not a normal eye color.

"Who are you?" Aang asked.

"My name is Emi, and I'm a Mary-Sue hunter. I go around to different fanfics, and get rid of Mary Sues, and try and make things right. I belong to an organization that was started by Booter-Freak and Whomever." the girl said.

"So….how did you find out about Lili?" Aang asked.

"I got contacted that this fic had an annoying Mary-Sue. I never kill them, but I put them in a dimension where they can spread their horrid Mary-Sue radiation with no harm to developed canon characters like you. Or OCs that aren't awful." Emi said.

Then the girl's hand began to glow, and she pointed it at Lili. A beam of light shot toward Lili from Emi's hand, and Lili disappeared.

"Wait…if you can do that, doesn't that make you a Mary-Sue?" Sokka asked.

Emi sighed, and her eyes became downcast. "There is one particularly bad downside to being a Mary-Sue hunter. I have to become part Mary-Sue in order to fight these creatures. That's the only way we can get rid of them."

"Ouch. That stinks." Aang replied, getting somewhat overwhelmed with all this new information. _The world really **did** go to the pits when I was in that iceberg. The Fire Nation attacked, Mary-Sues…I'm starting to wish this was all a dream. A really bad dream._

xXx

Back at the capital of the Fire Nation, Iroh tried to think of any excuse to keep from going to the garden. Lady What's-her-face was worse than the siege at Ba Xing Ce. The 600 day siege. As if his mind was being read (which is probably was, since all Mary-Sues have cybernetic brain implants) Lady PooPoo-head appeared.

"ZOMG! IROH! MY LUFF!"

Extremely frightened, a passing servant threw a cup of tea at the woman. She sparked, and fell on the ground, burning. It turned out she was a robot, designed by some Suethor to wreak Havoc on the Avatarverse. Yes, it was something random, but Iroh didn't care. He was safe from wacked out fangirls on crack. Iroh didn't even know he _had_ fangirls.

xXx

The next morning at camp, Aang, Sokka, and Emi sat around the fire,and talked about what to do next.

"I really don't have anything to do until I get my next assignment." Emi was explaining. "You guys can come if you want, but it will be pretty nasty. There are some nasty wacked out Sues in the fanfiction world. And that's only in your show."

Sokka and Aang exchanged glances. "Well, I've already mastered Earthbending, and I need a Firebending teacher. Since no one in this fic, or the regular show is friendly enough – except Jeong Jeong – maybe I can find someone elsewhere?" Aang said.

Emi laughed. "Good luck with that! You can come if you want. I'll teach you. Like I said, I'm part Mary-Sue, so I know two elements. And you got lucky, one of them is fire. So you can learn from me."

"Well you're going to have to postpone that lesson." A man strode into the clearing. "Emi, you have a new assignment. A fic called "A New Gang" has two OCs, one that has Airbending, Lightbending, and Darkbending. She has also caused the freedom-fighter Jet to act extremely OOC."

"We'll be on our way then." Emi replied. The man nodded, and walked away towards the village.

"Well, are you guys going to come?"

Sokka and Aang exchanged another Look. She seemed nice, and she was getting rid of Mary-Sues. On the other hand, they had just met her, and she _was_ part Mary-Sue. Aang decided the matter when he said. "We'll come, but no funny business. Sokka is a warrior, and I'm the Avatar. We won't hesitate to restrain you if anything happens."

"Fair enough." Emi said. "Let's finished getting packed, and then we'll head off."

xXx

**Well. I haven't updated in forever. I'm sorry, but I've been extremely busy. So, about the chapter…. "A New Gang" is a real fic that I found on Booter-Freak and Whomever's MiSTing site. The link for it didn't work, so go to my profile to find it. It's hilarious, and many of the Sues that Emi will battle will be from stories on that site. I got the idea for a Mary Sue hunter after reading a manga called _Claymore_, and it's really good, and is kinda the same thing. (only without the Mary-Sues) Then I saw a preview for Scary Movie 4, and had the idea to put paradies of Mary-Sues in my fic. So, I combined both the ideas, and this I the offspring. I am planning to do Sues from the following stories:**

What Lies Behind Her Eyes

A New Gang

The Forest Spirit

Rei: A New Kind of Princess!

**and (at the risk of being killed by Arekisu's minions)**

Detours

**And if any of you guys happen to stumble across a fic with an interesting Mary-Sue don't hesitate to tell me! And tell me if you love/hate the chapter please.**

**zukosfire5**


End file.
